To my unborn baby (with a potentially fatal diagnosis)

A Letter to my Unborn Son

Dear baby Jed, First off, I should begin by explaining that your full name is Jedidiah, we just call you “Jed” for short. It’s a great name, well for one, because that was the wisest man who ever lived, so it gives you something to live up to. But really, I just always thought it perfect for a little boy with freckles on his nose running barefoot through the back yard swinging a stick pretending to be a pirate. It sounds like lincoln log towers, fishing rods, toy trucks, grass stained jeans, dirty feet, tousled hair and t-ball practice. You should know, I love your name. Here’s something else you should know. You are the youngest of my four children. You have three big sisters. The first one is pretty bossy, but she’s your best bet if you need help tying your shoe or need some sympathy. She will mother you half … Continue reading

What a micro preemie taught me about Mother’s Day

My Micro Preemie

I’d never seen the short brown haired lady who appeared at my bedside before. A kind face with intelligent eyes looked intently at me while she spoke slowly and clearly so I would understand. She was a representative from the land of sick babies, here to explain words I’d never even heard before.  Neonatologist. Five hours previously I couldn’t have told you what that word meant. Even now I just knew that it was code for “smart person who knows a lot about tiny babies”. Please just go away. You are a busy person, and our baby is fine. I’m only here for observation, don’t you know that? Even as the thoughts swirled through my brain her voice droned on and on…statistics of survival, probable and possible problems micro-preemies face, typical treatment plans…not the sort of information any mom ever plans on hearing, let alone having to understand. And then she was gone, and … Continue reading