The New Year is Actually the Old Year

The New Year is Actually the Old Year

The baby was up all night. All four kids were sick. One of them in particular is worth at least six kids when she’s sick. I won’t mention any names, but she’s two, has blond hair, and handles feeling badly about as graciously as a cat getting their toenails clipped while being held under water. The car wouldn’t start when it was time for church. The dog chewed up at least ten things over night. New Year’s Day was…ummm. Great. Just really. Great. I did chuckle about it, a lot…because of course! Of course the old nasty Devil is going to come right out of the shoot with all sorts of dirty little tricks to immediately ruin our so called “fresh start”, “new page”, whatever you want to call it. As I sit listening to my little man laboriously breathing like a freight train, the oxygen consentrator humming, and sporting … Continue reading

Cake, Kidneys, and Cancer

pediactric cancer story

To try and summarize Jed’s first year of life would exhaust a much more proficient writer than I. Any year that begins with “not expected to survive” and ends with stage three liver cancer is bound to be a tad incredible. This boy doesn’t believe in mediocrity, I’ll give him that much! I’ve been wracking my brain to think how to do justice to the time that began with me writing this letter to Jed before he was born, to where we stand now. And I totally give up. There is just no good way to explain how thousands of rides up the elevator to the eighth floor of a children’s hospital will profoundly change a person. Or how a little boy with impossibly fat cheeks who yells and grins and breaks every medical rule in the book can melt his way into hundreds of hearts. How a year ago, … Continue reading

Perspective is Everything

Day 49, first time I get to hold Jed since the day he was born.

I almost always avoid the topic of my two tubie kids in passing conversations if I can possibly help it. (Official definition of a tubie: kids with feeding tubes. In this blog this term shall herafter refer to kids with feeding tubes, trachs, ET tubes, IVs, dialysis catheters, or any other type of tube that I don’t know about yet.) Sometimes the topic just comes up naturally. Sometimes it’s purely out of my control, like when someone (usually a cashier or some such person) makes the innocent mistake of calling my four year old the baby sister. Which typically then results in an indignant five minute monologue from the offended little lady of just why she is not the baby sister. That usually leaves me to sputter a hasty explanation to the now embarrassed individual, or just smile blandly as I make my exit and leave them to wonder whatever they like. … Continue reading