I’ve had all I can take!

I've had all I can take I’ve had all I can take. Have you ever said those words? I’ve said them. I clearly remember glaring at the row of shiny metal buttons in the children’s hospital elevator after Jed had some bad blood work, and I was told we would have to stay for a few days (which turned into months and a cancer diagnosis). I stabbed the number eight button, giving everyone around me a steely look which defied them to be brave enough to smile at me, much less dare to speak to me, all the while muttering in my mind, “I’ve had it, I’ve had all I can take!” I remember the day I brought Jed in for a hearing screen. The audiologist told me he was significantly deaf in both ears, and we should expect to get him cochlear implants in the future. I don’t know why, but for some reason after all that was wrong with his body, the knowledge that even his ears didn’t work made me furious. I drove home with all the gentle poise of a rocket leaving the earth’s atmosphere, glowering at his little bald head in the review mirror as if he was responsible for this startling bit of news, and should have had the decency to tell me his ears weren’t working. Didn’t he think his mother should know this?! Ears! Ears, Lord, couldn’t we just have his ears?? I’ve had it, I’ve had all the bad news I can take!

I’ve slammed into just enough “this seriously is it, this really is my breaking point and I’m not going to survive another minute” moments to know that my breaking point is never actually my breaking point. You see, when I gave my life to Jesus, He gave me this wonderful extension of strength called grace. And grace doesn’t have a breaking point. The real truth is that I have already hit my personal breaking point. I was six years old, and God brought to my understanding that sin was a problem entirely beyond my ability to handle. Here I stood at the edge of my own goodness, looking across a gaping abyss, bridged by the life of Jesus Christ who offered me the only way across the deep divide between me and the endless goodness of God. I walked the bridge. I took what Jesus Christ offered me, and the trail of grace still stretches before me as far as the eye can see to this day. I don’t have a breaking point, because I’m living on the borrowed life of my Savior who couldn’t even be broken by death. There is no breaking point to the God which keeps my soul.

These days, moments, and circumstance which rattle our world and shake our peace are temporary. My entire life is simply the introduction paragraph to the actual story, eternity. The flame of adversity which can and will consume literally any relationship, achievement, or possession, will only make that part of me belonging to God brighter and better. My relationship with God can only get sweeter for the lack of all the rest. His achievements in my life can only become greater for the bits of scraps He has left with which to work. Those things which He gives me can only become more delightful for the fact that they came directly from His hand. I am certain, after one look at Heaven, just one look at my Savior’s face, I will feel a little silly for stamping my foot and demanding an easier time. It will be in the presence of the Author and Finisher of my faith that I will finally understand that I most certainly have had all I can take! I have had all the grace I could possibly hold to fill my hungry heart. I have no budget constraints on how much grace I can spend. I have no expiration date on my emergency supplies of grace. I have a safe home within the sturdy walls of grace, and best of all, I have soul freedom because of grace. This is the power of grace, and it is, absolutely, all that I can take!

1 Samuel 12:24   Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

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About Abby

I'm a mom and blogger. I love all things creative! Follow along at www.chapterthirtyseven.com
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2 Responses to I’ve had all I can take!

  1. Mary S says:

    Every time I read your posts, I am brought to tears! Your prespective and faith are incredible. If you haven’t looked into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints yet, you should check it out. So much of your beliefs and ideas share the same doctrine.

  2. Catsoul says:

    thanks for reading and responding, love you sis!

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