The big girl is out of school for the summer, which means there are sprinklers to play in, bubbles to blow, little sisters to fight, art projects to smear on the floor, Frozen reenactments to perform, and cockroaches to face. Oh yes. Cockroaches. One cockroach to be exact. One disgusting little beast, the unlucky casualty of the latest bug man visit, breathing it’s last on the bathroom floor. Here it was discovered, and I, knowing that it was mostly dead, assured the concerned party that I would sweep it up momentarily. Being the practical mommy I am, I ordered she ignore the bug, and use the bathroom immediately before making a puddle on the floor. But then. The evil cockroach did the unthinkable. It waved an antenna. This was too much. The panicked child fled with shrieks as lusty as a five year old can possibly produce, and refused under any circumstances to re-enter that room. Now, let me interject, that I despise cockroaches as much (or more) than the child in question, and I fully sympathized with her feelings. However, I do not do drama. A small squeal, a complaint, maybe needing some mommy reassurance, I can accept. Acting as if death by torture is imminent because of one expiring insect is a tad unreasonable. So, I did the unthinkable. I escorted the wailing child into the room to do her business, and I made her face her fear. Standing at a dangerously close three feet, looking the ugly thing straight in it’s beady little eye, we discussed.
Did the cockroach get you? No. Did mommy make you come in here to be mean? No. Mommy wants you to learn to be brave. Is being scared naughty? No. Everyone is scared of some things, even mommy. Is disobeying because you are scared naughty? Yes. Obeying isn’t always easy, but we still have to do it. You can’t let fear be in charge of you.
Fear. That four letter word that threatens to control all of us in one form or another. How many times have I been the five year old, wailing with protests and refusing to go into the room that God has chosen for me. The room that He knows is best for my needs. I can’t go in there. I can’t obey. Don’t you know there is a cockroach in there, God?! Oh, not the brown, hairy leg, and long antenna kind…the “I don’t know what’s going to happen”, “what will people think”, “how will we ever survive financially”, “what if I get rejected”,” it’s just too hard” kinds of cockroaches. Every single time God has ever asked me to trust Him, I’ve seen that nasty little creature waving it’s antenna at me in the corner. Fear is such a powerful weapon for Satan to use against us. It doesn’t take any effort on his part, just a simple thought will do. Is God being mean? Does God even care about me? Is God ignoring the obvious problem here? Why would God put me through this? If Satan can just get you to trust your instincts over trusting God, than he wins! The problem is, our instincts sometimes lie to us. I can’t see the whole picture like God can. My fears are only based on what I understand, and my understanding is so very limited compared to God’s understanding. How much better it is to base my actions on what I know to be true, the solid, unchanging facts that I find in God’s word.
All those gross little bugs I’ve seen, those fears (real or imagined) that were so paralyzing, earth shattering and hair raising? Funny thing about them, He’s never let one of them eat me yet!
Psalms 27:1&14 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
I’ve written at least ten blog posts in my head these last few weeks. I even planned to take pictures of the finished hall library and master bedroom redo…maybe talk paint colors and how to fake a built in bookshelf and discuss how bathroom rugs can really be used in bedrooms as long as you don’t tell anyone what it is and other such fun topics. Unfortunately, I think I must have fallen asleep thinking about it, and no posts ever transpired. It’s quite possible that having a new baby not at home just might be more exhausting than having one at home. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, see HERE) And to all who may be wondering, the mini miss is doing fabulous! She’s turning into something of a teacher’s pet among the NICU nurses who keep threatening to smuggle her home with them in their pockets. I can’t blame them. She’s seriously so. SO. cute! Please keep praying for her to keep on the fast track to come home!