This Is Not About Me

This isn't about me

This whole thing, start to finish, is not about me. This existence, this space on earth I occupy, these moments of intersection into other people’s lives, this whole thing called life is not about me. Counter to culture’s doctrine, I am not the hero of the story. I am an underscore, a shadow, a very fuzzy reflection of a brilliant reality. I am ashamed to admit I am fighting this truth tooth and nail lately. I know this truth. I teach it to my girls. I believe it. But I almost always shrink from the courage to live it. I want to have an edited picture, filtered, in focus, one that will earn plenty of approval. Because I am just that good. The only problem with that sort of picture is, that is a lie, I am not that good. You see, there are three great sorrows in my life. My daughter’s health complications, … Continue reading

I Won’t be That Mom

I won't be that mom

     I grew up in central Florida. Where heat shimmers in waves above the asphalt, where afternoon thunder storms with more electricity in them than the entire population of Texas uses in a year (or so it seemed anyway) is the norm, and where of course, Mickey Mouse brings hundreds of thousands of visitors every year. Not to be misunderstood though, Mickey and I were not BFFs in my childhood years. My family actually lived well outside the ring of glitzy entertainment, down a dirt road, in a double wide trailer, on the back side of a cactus nursery. The “cactus farm”, as my friends dubbed it, was a family owned and operated business passed down from my Grandpa. Cacti were the means of financing our food, shelter, and education, and we kids were expected to take the growing of them as seriously as the adults.      I … Continue reading